


It's December (and I'll be missing you)

by NeganXGrimes



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (Comics), The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Christmas, Christmas Eve, Christmas Fluff, Drama, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:21:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21772132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeganXGrimes/pseuds/NeganXGrimes
Summary: As the title says this oneshot is inspired by the song "It's december (and I'll be missing you)" by Audrey Hannah.Negan and Rick are together for three years now and Rick opens his eyes to the christmas morning as he noticed Negan was suddenly missing. Where did he go?
Relationships: Rick Grimes & Negan, Rick Grimes/Negan
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	It's December (and I'll be missing you)

**Author's Note:**

> As mentioned in the summary, this oneshot is inspired by my favourite christmas song:  
> It's called "It's december (and I'll be missing you) from Audrey Hannah.
> 
> I suggest to listen it while reading (or some other christmas music you may like).
> 
> At the moment I'm writing on my first Regan fanfic called "weak spot" but during my holiday and sickness time I fell a bit behind and wanted to bring some christmas feeling on my page (I found online something called Regan christmas but it's from 2017 I think so I do my own Regan christmas this year :D), before I continue that big story. 
> 
> So I hope this oneshot makes you happy while reading and fullfills everything for a nice christmas story :)  
> And don't worry: My weak spot will continue soon as well, but next week comes another christmas oneshot first before I continue that :)  
> You will surely recognize my writing style in this oneshot too, but please let me know in the comments if you enjoy it, cause it's my first oneshot and I don't know if you like it that way too :)
> 
> Have fun reading and have a nice christmas time!

At the morning of the 25th December Rick still had this heavy feeling of the whisky he had with Negan the night before resting in his veines. For the last three years they spent Christmas eve always in the same way: First they needed to convince Carl and Judith to leave for bed, waiting for the illusion of Santa they created for Ricks girl and after they finished the last page of reading the christmas story to her, they went downstairs and shared a glass of whisky in front of their fire place.

  
  


* * *

  
  


  
  


Ricks children always loved Christmas time the most and since Negan came into Ricks life after the loss of their wives, Rick finally could look forward to this time again as well. After Lori died while Judiths birth and Rick broke connection to his former partner Shane, cause of his and Loris betrayal, he couldn't even imagine to ever like Christmas again.

He was glad that during their first christmas after Loris death, Judith was too young to realize that Rick didn't even decorate the house and got drunk in despair over the losses he had to bear. Carl freaked out that time, blaming his father for taking on too much with taking the responsibility for raising his half sister and ruining the first christmas without his mum. Carl himself did lose a lot that time as well and for him Rick behaved like he wouldn't even realize the pain all that caused in his son.

Rick never forgot how Carl called him _selfish_ and _reckless_ and stormed off with Judith to spend christmas morning at their neighbours place, with his childhood friend Enid. That day Rick drove to the woods with tears in his eyes and alcohol in his blood. And right after Carl realized that his car was gone from the house, knowing in which state he left his father behind, he was close to calling Shane in rage to arrest him for drunk driving. With his mobile in hand he stared out of the window to face their house, while Judith was playing with Enid in the glowing living room of her family. As soon as he dialed Shanes number, Ricks car appeared back at their home and Carl hung up and ran outside, wanting to give his father the worst harangue he ever had. As he started with „What the fuck is wrong with you?“ Rick just opened the trunk and presented to his sons confused eyes a small christmas tree he just cut down in the woods.

Carl just blinked at that with furrowed brows and Rick tried to gloss his still wasted face with sliding his hand through his hair. „I'm sorry. I know how much you wanted a christmas tree and I...I think I just overlooked your pain in concentrating on mine. I'm sorry son.“

„And that's how you want to make it up to me?“ Carl asked to that and Rick lightly lifted his face, to look in his sons eyes, not able to figure out what they were saying.

„I...I guess.“

Carls lips suddenly formed a soft smile and he joked „At least you tried, right?“ before he went up to his dad and pulled him in a tight embrace, knowing that was the only thing they needed right now.

Rick never forgot how strong Carl hold onto him that day and wasn't sure if the falling snow was the reason for Carls wet face, or if he allowed himself to cry for the first time. It seemed his first born always tried to be the strong one for his father and sister and Rick never realized before how much christmas actually meant to him. In the same night Rick managed to decorate their new tree with a light chain he took from Judiths room and all three together fell asleep at the living room.

As Negan came into their life two years later, he turnt their lives upside down. He didn't only achieve Rick to like christmas again, but also made the impossible possible and touched Ricks heart in such a weird and uncommon way, that his former broken soul felt whole again. For the first time in his life Rick fell for a man and never regreted it from that day on, where Negan confessed him he felt the same.

After half a year of ups and down, moving back and forth, Negan finally moved in with them and became an unconditional father for Judith and Carl. Negans way of loving Ricks children like his own even made it possible for Rick to relax and let him take responsibility, something he never even imagined before as a dutiful police officer.

As their first christmas came up, Rick even allowed Negan to bring Judith to bed and expected they would just follow after her, but Negan often couldn't stand the normal life as a settled down father and always tried to keep their relationship in focus, forcing Rick to spend whole nights with talking to him on the couch. As a reward for Ricks effort in decorating and cooking for christmas, Negan brought this old whisky with him downstairs this night and Rick started to get used to this beverage from that day on.

He always remembered how Carl came down the next morning and found them laying in each other arms on the couch, while Judith wanted to go outside to play in the snow. Carl realized in that moment what a perfect match they were and didn't wake them with a nasty comment as usual, just enjoying that calm face his father had in that moment. Negan felt accepted from Ricks son for the first time and it never changed again. After Carls commitment, he even prefered to talk about some personal things only with Negan and he in return did his best not to disappoint the trust he earned, covering Carl in any moment he needed it in front of his stricter dad. It felt great for Negan to feel so accepted, after he never had the chance to get children himself and since Judith was way easier to deal with cause of her age, the trust of Carl was hard to get and more dear to him. Even if Negan would have gone through fire for this whole new family he got, Carl always hold a special space in his heart, cause he reminded him so much of himself, nearly like as if he was his son.

And without his knowing this was one of the first reasons why Rick fell in love with him, as he saw them reacting to each other in Carls school. His children always were more important for Rick than his own good and everyone who loved his children, got accepted instantly. Even if Carl never showed it in front of his father that he accepted Negan into their family right away, Rick always had the feeling it was okay after he stopped making comments all the time. And bringing back christmas to him, was the biggest gift Negan could have ever made and made it easy for Rick to finally relax in this new situation and express his love for the other man even more.

After everyone got used to their new family constellation, Rick looked forward to christmas every year and having the whisky with the love of his life the night before was the best part for him, no matter how beautiful the eyes of his children glowed when opening their presents the next morning, cause it reminded him how this man brought not only christmas, but also happiness and love back to their family and that was something he could never pay back.

Rick hated whisky in the past, but since he got to know Negan more and suddenly started to remember his smell when he went to bed and missed him, he realized whisky was something that reminded him of that man, wherever he went. With every advertisement, every movie or any shop which showed a glass of whisky, Rick started to smile cause his thoughts went back to Negan and it didn't need long until he realized through that, that he loved that man.

Negan didn't only manage to make Rick _share_ the whisky with him that one night, he also granted him the best night of his life, which made it easy for the future to love that moments.

  
  


* * *

  
  


  
  


Last night it was exactly like that again. It was one of these perfect nights Rick was blessed with since _three years_ now. And he didn't want to miss one more second of the new life he had.

As Rick opened his eyes, blinking at the sun which shined through his window, he realized Negan was already gone, the blanket next to him cold and left open.

„Typical...“ Rick mumbled to himself and sat up, breathing in deeply.

 _How can this man still drink such heavy stuff without having a hangover? Isn't he getting old at all? Life is unfair_ , Rick thought to himself and cursed over himself for being such a long sleeper. Negan surely already prepared breakfast and Judith, while he felt still felt like an old man, still dozed from sex and alcohol.

With a sigh Rick got up and stepped under the shower, before he got dressed in his blue shirt and jeans to step downstairs. With a whistle on his lips, he tried to guess what Negan made them for breakfast, but strangely he couldn't smell anything, not even coffee. _Maybe he just shortly stood up before him_?

Rick entered the kitchen and called out a „Good morning, love. Merry Christmas.“

He waited for Negans kinky „Merry _Rickmas_ “ answer, but nothing came in return. Rick blinked as he realized the kitchen was empty and furrowed his brows. _Where was he?_

„Negan?“ With confusion in his voice Rick went to the living room to check the couch, but couldn't find him there either. His eyes wandered to the sideboard where they kept their car keys and recognized both of them still laying there. He looked over to the door and couldn't see Negans jacket and even his shoes were gone from the floor. Rick couldn't understand what was going on here and went back to the kitchen, to check if he left a note and finally could spot something he must have overseen before. A small white paper was placed at the dinner table and on it rested something metal. _Could it be...?_

Rick stepped up to the table and swiped down the key covering the three words Negans hand must have written before. „ _I'm sorry, Rick_.“ There was no „I love you“, no „Be right back“, no „Merry christmas“ or „See you later“. Just „ _I'm sorry, Rick_.“

Negan didn't even sign it and Rick didn't know that he barely managed to write _anything_ down anyways. _He wasn't capable of adding his name, cause that would have made it more real. And seeing both of their names written so close to each other, was something Negan couldn't bear in that moment. He knew Rick would recognize his writing anyways._

Ricks heart stopped for a second and his chest tightened, as he felt a sharp pain running through his veins. It felt like ten thousand knifes at once and even if Rick never had one before, he was certain he had a panic attack and started to hyperventilate. He wasn't even able to lift his eyes from the paper, trying to search for anything else that could be written on there. He turnt the paper in his hand and searched for any clue or hidden secret. Maybe all this was a sick game of him. Negan played games with Rick before, cause he loved to feel like in „ _catch me if you can_ “, being chased like a threatened cat.

As Rick found nothing more on the paper, his eyes went back to the key and he realized Negans initials carved in there, what made it obvious that this was his house key. Rick blinked in shock and felt how his eyes teared up and burnt like the fire in his soul. His left hand sank down with the paper resting on the table, while his right middle finger and thumb stroked over his closed eyes to surpress the urge to cry. _This couldn't be. Maybe it was a bad dream or something._

„Dad?“ Carls voice appeared behind him and Rick felt stabbed another time. _How should he explain that to him?_

His face turnt around to look at his son, who realized the teary eyes of his dad in that same moment. But Carls eyes didn't look shocked, his concern was bigger than that. He couldn't even remember when he saw his dad devastated like this and he surely didnt want to see it again either. But now there he was. This sad, broken figure Carl didn't miss one second in the past years.

Rick wanted to say something, but there was no word coming out of his mouth and this silence broke a part of Carls heart right away. He stepped up to his father and embraced him. Rick couldn't even react appropiately, his body was still frozen in shock, but Carl didn't let go of him like on that christmas in front of their house.

Rick hoped all these years that his son would never see him in such a broken state again, but now in this moment all his hope was crushed and he couldn't help the tears running down his face, while his arms hold onto his son.

No matter how hard Rick searched for anything to say to describe what he was feeling, there were so many emotions at the same time, that he just stayed silent.

For his surprise Carl didn't ask anything and just mumbled „I'm so sorry, dad. I really am.“ and Rick answered with shaking his head and releasing their arms „No, _I'm_ sorry, Carl. I didn't want you to... It's christmas and... I'm so sorry.“

Rick wiped his tears away with his shirt and breathed in deeply, as he suddenly spotted his mobile next to the coffee machine. „Wait.“

He stepped up to his phone and opened the lockscreen, just to be confronted with their family picture as background in the next second what made the tears come up again. He searched for Negans number and dialed it, the mobile resting on his ear with shaking hands. Carl sighed and stepped to the hallway as Rick realized the ringtone of Negans mobile coming from there. He blinked in confusion and went after his son, who reached the cupboard and lifted Negans mobile. Rick gulped harshly and hang up, while Carl took a look at Negans lock screen where he spotted him and his dad arm in arm.

„Give it to me.“ Rick reached out with his hand but Carl decided this picture was not the right to see in this moment.

„No, dad. We... we can't unlock it anyways.“

As Carl hold the phone in the air Rick grabbed his arm and stole the phone out of his hand aggressively. His son didn't know that they shared their secure codes from the beginning, cause there was nothing to hide anyways. „Carl, come on.“

With Negans phone in his hand, Rick stepped up to the stairs and sat down there to check the lock screen himself. As their picture appeared, it felt like another razorblade he just swallowed and got stuck in his throat.

„Dad... we should check for Judith.“

„I know...“ Rick just whispered with a shaking voice and striped his thumb over Negans face on the screen. „Where are you?“ Rick muttered as suddenly Judiths voice came up.

„Carl! Daddies!“

Rick and Carl turnt their head upstairs and Carl offered Rick his hand. „Come on, give it to me. First we have to make her a good christmas morning, she deserves happiness and no sorrow. Nobody is helped with you being crazy about his phone now, searching for clues like a detective, while he might come back in an hour or something.“

Rick looked back at his son and frowned. „What if something happened to him?“

„It didn't. Maybe he just needed to catch some air. Christmas blues or something.“

„But last night he was...“

„Dad... please. He's a grown up, Judith is not. Let's not ruin it for her. I promise as soon as Judith is distracted, I help you with finding him, okay? We can go through his phone all night, if he's not back then. Deal?“

Rick hated to admit that sometimes he just reacted too emotional and Carl needed to set him straight again. He even acted more grown up than his own father and Rick didn't want to let that happen.

„Deal.“ Rick handed Carl the mobile to avoid the tension to check it all the time and slid his hands over his face again, before he stepped up to Judith and called out a happy „Merry Christmas princess!“.

Carl took another look at Negans phone again, before he let it rest in his pocket with a sigh and then helped his father to get Judith ready for their christmas morning.

  
  


* * *

  
  


After hours of trying to not show anything in front of Judith and not mentioning their worries about Negans disappearing, Rick still had to struggle with the fact that Negan didn't come back like Carl assumed. As Judith was playing in the snow with her half brother, Rick sat down on the couch and went through Negans phone, his eyes always wandering back to his children outside of the window. Sadly he found nothing at all. No plane tickets, no searchs for hotels or chats with lovers. He acted normal with everyone he talked to, even if the only chats he had open were ones with colleagues anyways. Rick knew Negan wasn't really into friendships cause of his trust issues and it was still a miracle, he was able to open up to him and his family after all his losses and betrayals. He had no contact to his relatives either, so Rick was not surprised about finding nothing about them too.

It seemed the only thing Negan took with him were some of his clothes and his purse with his passport. Rick knew as a police officer he could at least check where he uses his credit card the next time, but Carl reminded him of not being the jealous, addictive type and having some trust in him. _But how could he? They just had a perfect night and nothing seemed odd and then he just left without any reason or sign or explanation. How could you ever trust in someone like that?_

On the same night Rick went out with his car after he could be sure that Carl watches over his sister and making her stop her questions about daddy Negan.

He drove to all their favorite places. The park, the restaurants, the cafes and even the school, but found nothing. He tried to contact Negans boss for any hints, but he could tell him nothing either.

Devastated, exhausted and angry Rick came home that night and Carl had to do his best to calm his dad down, telling him over and over that he shouldn't give up and that he believes in Negan coming back. Rick couldn't bear the seemingly calm reaction of his son at first, especially cause he imagined all the times he would have to tell all these lies to Judith without believing them himself. _But this just couldn't be it, or could it?_

  
  


* * *

  
  


  
  


After a few months of no sign of Negan, Rick couldn't hold back anymore and checked for Negans credit card history, even if he took the risk of being exhorted for that. He didn't care. Since Negan was gone he felt like a part of him was missing anyways and he needed to get him back to finally be able to breathe again. Losing his job was not his first concern right now. Sadly the history just showed that he cancelled his bank account and took all the money in cash with him. This only made Rick more sure that he took off for good. But it didn't mend the pain in his heart.

For a moment Rick even considered of contacting Shane, cause he knew he moved to another state and was the master of tracking down someone. But telling him to be with a man to raise his daughter and now being jealous like a desperate housewife, wasn't something he wanted to admit in front of him.

Carl surprisingly showed less and less interest of Negans disappering and Rick still couldn't figure out where he got that calmness from. Maybe it was Loris part in him of just being frustrated and letting go for his own good. Rick sometimes wished he wouldn't be so stubborn and could do the same thing. But it still felt like he couldn't give up until he found him.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Nearly one year later as christmas time started, Rick started feeling depressed again. He wasn't in the mood to decorate the house and told Carl he didn't know why he should do it anymore and for whom. Carls aggressive response of „And what about _us_?“ shook him out of his despair and Rick decided to decorate the house even more than the years before, just in case Negan would come back to show him he managed to be without him very well.

Nevertheless while christmas shopping Rick couldn't hold back and bought Negans favourite brand of whisky and placed it on their couch table with two glasses, before he prepared their christmas eve dinner.

It didn't go unnoticed by Carl and he even smiled about it by mentioning „I'm glad you don't give up on him, you know?“ but Rick just could sigh to that.

„I'm not sure if I didn't, Carl. I just...It's christmas and...even your old dad should have one wish for free, right?“

Carl rested his hand on his fathers shoulder and added „More than one, dad.“ and Judith applaud to that.

For her, Negan was on a big trip for work. Since she didn't understand the concept of jobs until then, it was easy for her to accept Negan would just disappear and come back another time. Carl and Rick were glad children that age didn't have a concept of time anyways.

  
  


* * *

  
  


After Carl brought Judith to bed and read her the christmas story, Rick sat down on the couch and breathed in deeply, his hands sliding over his face. The past year went by so fast and the pain in Ricks heart seemed to be such a consistency, that he nearly forgot that it still was hurting.

His thoughts wandered over all the happenings last year and he wondered, if he paid enough attention to his son, who was clearly going through something he didn't get enough information about. Whenever he asked Carl about what was going on, his answers were short and Rick couldn't hide that he wished Negan also back for _him_. Somehow these two just could talk more openly that he was able to. But maybe Carl just didn't want to give his dad more sorrow than he already went through.

As it started snowing outside, Rick reached out for the whisky bottle, the brown liquid glowing in the light of the candles and the christmas tree. Rick opened it and smelled the strong flavor with closed eyes. He tried for a long time not to think about that last christmas night he spent with Negan, but now all the memories came back. _Did he overlook something that time? Did he say something wrong, or did Negan mention something about going? Was he different from before?_

But nothing came into Ricks mind that could have made his leaving obvious. The way he kissed his lips before they went to sleep, felt as _secure_ as all the years before. There was no _doubt_ or _goodbye_ in it. Even Negans way of making love to him felt as _sweet_ and _devouring_ as he knew it. It was not filled with anger or frustration, it was just close as always. Like being _one_. And then he just was _gone_.

 _Dammit_ , Rick thought to himself. _Damn you whisky. If I wouldn't have been drinking this shit, I may have been awake longer to notice Negans leaving. And I just fell asleep and didn't even realize he was going. Maybe I just didn't deserve him, if I didn't even recognize it._

A scream mixed with anger and despair filled the air as Rick smashed the bottle against the wall next to their window and for a short moment, Rick was surprised how deep the rage still was lingering. He looked at the wall to check, if he didn't leave a hole, but as he recognized there was nothing, only the broken pieces of glass on the ground. His eyes wandered out of the window where he spotted someone dressed in black, his hands in his pockets.

„Dad, are you okay?“ Carl asked from above, wondering about the shattering sound of glass.

Rick stood up and stepped to the window. „Yeah, it's all fine.“

His eyes squinted to sharpen and in the moment as he met the eyes of the stranger, he felt a lightning run through his body. It was the same lightning he felt, when Negan looked him in the eyes for the first time. The same _intriguing_ eyes were staring back at him now.

„This can't be.“

Rick went to the front door and opened it. His eyes met the other person who still stood at the same place, his hands hidden in the pockets of his coat. The snow was slowly falling on the black hair, letting it glow in this silver look Rick loved so much.

His heart felt like being stuck in his throat as Rick dared to speak his name. „ _Negan_?“

Negan smiled softly and it seemed his eyes were sparkling. „Hey, Rick. Merry Christmas.“

Rick blinked in confusion and felt how the rage went up in his body. He couldn't believe it. After he let go of the door, Rick stepped forward and stopped after the last stair in front of their house. „Merry christmas? You gotta be fucking kidding me. Who do you think you are, coming here after one year of leaving me behind in the unknown and just acting like nothing happened? I had to explain your leaving to my children, who asked for you without me understanding it myself. That was no fucking merry christmas. It was a fucking mess. And _you_ caused it. And it seems you don't even feel remorse for that appearing here for the next christmas and...what? Expecting me to let you in like you have been just gone for an hour? I think you fucking lost your mind!“

Rick was panting from his rage speech and it was a surprise Negan didn't even interrupt him once. He just continued to stare at him with his kinky smile on his lips. Even after Rick stopped talking and looked at him with a threatening look as if he would kill him right here, Negan just raised his eyebrows like „are you done?“ and smiled further. But this didn't help with Ricks anger at all.

„What? You lost your voice or what?“ Rick added with burning eyes. He felt how all the frustration and sadness from the last year crawled up in him and surely caused his eyes to tear up.

Negan slowly lifted his hands out of his pockets and made a questioning gesture with his arms. „Wow. I expected more happiness to see me, to be honest.“

„You did what? Are you fucking high or what is wrong with you?“

Negan sighed and closed his eyes as suddenly Carls voice broke the scenery. „Negan.“

As Negan opened his eyes to the familiar voice, Carl ran up to him and threw his arms around him, to pull him in a tight hug.

„I'm so glad you're back.“ Carl said and Negan hold him tight, like a father would hold his son.

„It's so good to see you, kid.“

„This must be a fucking nightmare.“ Rick mumbled to himself and crossed his arms in front of his chest, having the urge to pull them apart to punch Negan right in his face only to hug him after. _He missed him so much and just wanted him to hold him_.

Carl released their embrace and smiled at Negan, full of expectations. „So...you are _here_. Does that mean...“

Negan interrupted him with a nod and let his eyes wander to Rick for a short moment, who still stared at him with disgust.

„How did things with Enid work out?“ Negan asked and Carl slid his hand through his hair. A common gesture he must have learnt from his father, when he felt embarrassed.

„I think fine. Thank you.“

Negan rested his hand on Carls shoulder and looked at him from below. „I'm proud of you. And thank you so much for taking care of him.“

Carl nodded and added „I _promised_ , right?“ and in this moment Rick couldn't hold back anymore.

„What do you mean with you _promised_? What the fuck is going on here?“ Ricks arms opened and he stepped forward, his hands building fists.

„So you _didn't tell him_. Thank you.“ Negan muttered to Carl, before Rick grabbed Carls wrist and pulled him away from Negan. „Rick, calm down. I can explain...“

„Oh you _will_ explain. You _both_ will explain. But first I want Carl to go inside, he's not _your_ son, you know? I should know if you two plan something behind my back.“

Negan sighed to that. „Rick, leave him out of it. It was my idea. I just wanted him to protect you.“

„Protect me? From you? Oh yeah he better should have done that four years ago!“ The last words only came out as a scream, before Rick turnt back to his son. „Carl, go inside. We will talk later.“

„Dad, I...“

„Carl, I...“

In this moment another voice reached their fight and Judith stepped out in her nightdress, rubbing her eyes. „Daddies?“

Everyones head turnt around and Negans former serious face instantly changed into something soft and he went on his knees with open arms. „Princess. Come here, I missed you so much!“

„Negy!“ Judith called out in excitement and ran into Negans arms, even if Rick tried to catch her first, but Carl hold him back.

Negan took her on his arms and swirled her around. „Oh my god, look how big you've become.“

Judith laughed and Rick just rubbed his eyes with his right hand. He couldn't take this anymore.

„Negan...“ he tried to break the silence, but his voice was so quiet, that Negan didn't really hear it.

„Listen princess.“ Negan started to explain. „Negy has to talk to daddy Rick first, okay? He is very very angry at me and we have to clear the mess first until we can play. Besides your nightdress is way to cold and you don't wanna chase santa, don't you? You have to sleep, otherwise he won't come.“

„I knoooow. But I thought you were santa!“

„No baby, I'm not. And you go inside with your brother now, fine?“

Judith nodded and hugged Negans face another time, before he let her down and she took Carls hand.

Rick looked at his children and still frowned. _Oh how long he wished for them to be reunited again and how much he loved Negan with his children. But in this moment everything just hurt and he needed answers._

„Please, bring her inside Carl.“ Rick commanded.

Carl sighed and looked over to Negan. „Dad, I can explain...“

„No, let me talk to him Carl. It's fine. You did good.“ Negan interrupted him.

Carl nodded and looked back at Rick. „Listen to him, dad. Give him a chance.“

„Go inside, Carl. Please.“ Rick felt close to breaking and all he wanted now was his children out of sight. They shouldn't see him like this, broken and weeping.

Finally Carl listened and went back inside with Judith, resting on the couch in the living room and hoping both of them would follow soon.

Rick took another deep breath and looked back at Negan, even if every meeting of their eyes hurt like thousand knives. „So... What promise did Carl give to you?“

Negan sighed heavily and stepped closer to Rick, but he just lifted his hand in front of him and shook his head, begging „No, please. Just...just stay there. Tell me.“

Negan frowned and forced himself not to break their eye contact, even if he felt that Rick couldn't stand that intriguing look in this moment.

„He caught me leaving that night. So we talked.“ Negan explained.

„You talked? About what?“

„About my reasons.“

„So you could tell my son, but not _me_?“

„Rick...“

„Great. Tell me. Tell me what you could tell him, but not me.“

„I didn't plan him to notice me going, he just did. You just have a very observing boy, you know?“

„Oh great, now you tell me he is observing and I'm not, or what?“

„That's not what I meant...“

„Then tell me what you meant, even if I don't know why I should even care anymore.“

Negan smiled to that and for the first time as their eyes met, he could see a glimpse of love in Ricks look. „I have a good guess why you should, _love_.“

„Don't...“ Rick warned him and shook his head, crossing his arms again, his eyes looking up to the street light watching the snow falling down in front of the light.

„Okay, I know I owe you the truth. I will tell you what happpened that night.“

Rick just shrugged and didn't look back at the other man, he just couldn't.

* * *

  
  


  
  


_Woken from the strange noises in the kitchen, Carl went down the stairs and stopped in the doorframe. „Negan? What are you doing?“_

_Negan turned around his head and looked at his loves son. **Dammit, I thought he was asleep. Why isn't he such a deep sleeper like his dad?** _

„ _Carl, shouldn't you be asleep?“ Negan let something slide in his pocket and Carl furrowed his brows._

„ _I guess same goes for you. Does dad know you're down here in the middle of the night?“_

„ _Nope. He's asleep and I want it to stay that way.“_

„ _Hm.“_

_Carl nodded and Negan passed him in the doorframe, to step to the hallway and pulled his mobile out of his jeans, to place it on the cupboard._

_For Carl it felt like he was in some kind of trance and he didn't know how to reach him right now. „Are you okay?“_

_Negan stepped up to the front door and put on his shoes. „Yeah, of course.“_

_Before Negan could get his jacket, Carl suddenly pulled him back with grabbing his arm. „Wait. You gotta tell me what you are up to right now. I just can't let you leave and see my father sink down into depression again, cause of losing you.“_

_Negan sighed cause he knew he was right, but that was something he didn't want to think about right now. „Carl, please. I didn't plan you would notice me, just let me go.“_

„ _No! You better tell me now, or I will call for my dad. And Judith will surely wake then too.“_

_Negan interrupted him with fear. „Don't! Please.“_

„ _So?“ Carl asked, his hand still on Negans arm._

„ _Fine. I'll tell you. But you have to **promise** me, you don't tell your dad.“ _

„ _I can't...“_

„ _Please, Carl.“_

_Carl sighed and remembered all these times in which Negan kept promises for him. He never disappointed him._

_He nodded and said „Fine. I **promise**.“ _

„ _Good.“ Negan pulled Carl to the living room, where Ricks and his glass still were placed on the table. He had to smile about that sight shortly. **That man really loved him if he drunk this with him, even if he hated it before so much. He just was amazing.** _

_They sat down on the couch and Negan mumbled „I found something.“_

_Carl tilted his head just like his father did so many times before in front of Negan. „You found what?“_

_Negan sighed and looked at Carl, his hands in his lap. „An engagement ring.“_

_Carls eyes widened and he nearly called out too loud „What?“, but Negan made a gesture with his hands to show him to keep quiet._

„ _Please...“_

„ _I'm sorry. So...my father wanted to propose to you?“_

„ _If he doesn't have someone else I don't know about, yes. I guess so.“_

_Carl scoffed and raised one eyebrow. „Yeah, as if dad could be any more cheesy about anyone than you.“_

_Negan grinned and scratched the back of his head. „I guess so.“_

„ _I still wonder...he never mentioned it. Wouldn't he tell me about it?“_

_Negan wrinkled his forehead and breathed in deeply. „Yeah...it is strange indeed. We didn't talk about it either. But nevertheless...it's not the point that I don't want it's just... I want to ask him.“_

_Carl blinked and shook his head. „Wait...so your problem is, that **you** want to ask him? What kind of problem is that? Isn't it amazing he wants to ask you?“ _

_Negan lifted his hand and shook his head. „No, no. Not at all. It's...it's **my** task. I couldn't handle him to ask me. **I** need to do it.“ _

_Carl shook his head again and laughed. „I don't get you. You grown ups surely have some issues, a stupid kid like me don't know shit about.“_

_Negan looked up at him and grinned. **He really did copy his swearing too much.** _

„ _Oh Carl, you're not stupid and you're not a kid anymore. But...this is different. I...I never have been with a man I wanted to marry. But... **I** asked Lucille. **I'm** the man, I have to do it.“ _

„ _Oh come on, don't be so conservative. You're both men, what does it matter?“_

„ _It **does** matter. For my **ego**.“ _

„ _Oh Lord...okay then, just get him a ring and ask him first then.“_

_Negan had to smile over this childs naivety. **He didn't even know if it was appropiate to tell Carl everything behind his thinking. But it seemed he had to.** „I can't.“ _

„ _Why not?“_

_Negan sighed and stood up, stepping to the window to follow the snow with his eyes. **How long would he have to miss that sight?** „You know I was married, Carl.“_

„ _Yeah, my dad was too.“_

„ _Yeah. But...I wasn't the perfect husband your father was.“ Negan turned around, his back against the window and his arms crossed in front of his chest._

„ _What do you mean?“_

„ _I cheated on her. Many times. I even did when she got sick.“_

_Carl gulped harshly and still tried to figure out what he wanted to say. „Did you cheat on my dad?“_

„ _No!“ Negan instantly looked up and stared at Carl with glowing eyes. „No, I didn't. And thing is: I'm don't want to, **ever**. I'm not planning to do that to your father. Since I met him, I knew he deserved the best he can get. But it's also a matter of fact, that I was never able to be faithful in a relationship. I always cheated. I always lied and hurt and ran away. That's how I am. That's why it took so long for me to open up to your father. He tried to hard and I tried to tell him, what kind of person I am, but he didn't want to see me like that. He saw something more in me. He trusted me and I just...I couldn't say no anymore. You know how your father is...“ _

_Carl chuckled to that image of how his father chased for Negan all that time. He wondered himself why it took so long for these two to get together, but whenever he saw them united, he just was so sure they were meant for each other and he never had any doubt it would last. „Yeah, he is stubborn. If he wants something, he fights for it with all he has.“_

_Negan nodded and smiled. „Yeah. He did. And he deserves me in the best form. I gave him everything I got. I never cheated. And I never intended to. But...as I saw that ring it scared me, Carl. What if I go back to my old habits? I wanted to be perfect to him, but that would have included, that I should have proposed to him. I didn't. And I asked myself, why I didn't. Maybe I'm just not at this point. And I'm too scared to hurt and disappoint him. He is such a sensitive soul. He is needy and clinging to me. What I love, to be honest. But I'm scared to make a mistake. I can't allow that to happen.“_

_Carl furrowed his brows again and stood up to face Negan better. „Tell him that. He will surely understand and can wait until you're ready.“_

„ _No...he shouldn't wait until I'm ready. I should be ready and should propose to him. But I'm...too **scared**.“ _

_Suddenly there was silence between them and Carl still tried to understand this obviously too complex relationship drama Negan just created in his head. „So what are you going to do?“_

„ _I need to find out, if I can be the man for him he needs. We spent every day together. It's easy not to cheat or be tempted to make a mistake when you're always together. Nearly watched. I need to know what happens, if we are seperated. I need to challenge myself. I need to find out, if I am the person he sees in me. And I can't do it here.“_

„ _But you can't just leave! He deserves you tell him!“_

„ _I know...“_

_Negan slid his hand through his hair and turned around to stare out of the window again. He wished he could just go upstairs and watch the snow with Rick, but he couldn't._

„ _As I met your father...he was so strong. I admired him for being so strong for you and Judith. How he managed all that and still be a genuine person. How could you not be frustrated by this world and still are willing to give so much? I love him so much for his soul. But... since I'm here, I feel like he gets too dependant on me. He looses sight of his own strength. He thinks he is only strong **with** me, but he isn't. Question is...am I as perfect without him? I need to find my answer to that...otherwise I can't marry him. And I want to.“ _

_Carl felt the realization of the fact that he couldn't hold back Negan from his plan, sink in his mind. He would leave and **leave** his father behind. Maybe not for always, but for now. And it was cruel to imagine that. It was christmas and Carl didn't want his father to hate christmas again. He didn't want to see him cry again, he just couldn't bear it. _

_He knew what Negan meant, cause he admired the same strength in his father. And he was also right, that Rick often hid his strength now behind Negans strong appearence. But did he really need to see his father go through this hell again to know he's strong? He knew it, he didn't have to prove it anymore._

_Carl stepped up next to Negan and followed the snow with his eyes as well. „How long will you be gone?“_

_Negan breathed in deeply and was proud of Carl for not holding him back anymore. „I don't know. But I sure do owe him a christmas after today. I can't stay away longer than next christmas. I don't want him to hate it again.“_

„ _Yeah me neither.“ Carl agreed and scratched his head. „Even if I'm very sure he won't enjoy the next two christmas days.“_

_Negan turned around to face Carl again and rested both of his hands on his shoulders. „Then make him. He shouldn't define his happiness on me. He has you and Judith. He has a family. I want him to see that and enjoy it. Even if I'm not there. I want to see him smile without me, so I can be sure I can come back and still know him safe. Please.“_

_Carl shrugged and said „I'm not sure if I truly get what you expect to happen, but I get that you feel like you need to go. Just... **come back**. Whatever you decide, please come back. He needs to hear that from you no matter how you decide in the end.“ Negan nodded and pulled Carl in a tight hug. _

„ _I **promise** I come back. Latest next christmas. Thank you Carl. I'm so proud of you.“ _

_After resting in each others arms for a while, Carl released the embrace and smiled at him. „I really like you. And I know no one making my dad as happy, as you did. Thank you for that. And I hope you find the answers you search for.“_

„ _I do hope so, too.“_

„ _I still think you two belong to each other, just saying.“_

_Negan laughed and slowly stepped back to the hallway. „I really **do** love him, he should never doubt that. And when I'm more confident in being able to give him everything to show that, I will come back.“ _

„ _Hm...so where are you going? Anything in mind?“_

_Negan smiled and put his jacket on. „I want to travel some places. I have something in mind for the perfect engagement ring, you know? You never know, if I need it at the end.“_

_Negan winked and Carl grinned to him. „I hope so. Don't do anything stupid.“_

_Negan nodded to that and rested his hand on the doorknob. „I hope I won't, kid.“_

„ _Wait...you did leave him a note, did you?“_

„ _A...note?“ Negan tilted his head now and scoffed „No, of course not.“_

„ _Oh come on, at least write him something down. You know he's a police officer. He would instantly think someone kidnapped you.“_

_Negan laughed and went back to the kitchen. „And who should dare to kidnapp me? A female stalker or what?“ As he grabbed a paper and pen, Negan felt how his hand was shaking._

_He didn't forget about leaving a note, but he knew how hard it would be for him to write anything down, not knowing when he would see him next. He was not the man of many words._

_Carl recognized the shaking and smirked. „What is it? Too nervous?“_

„ _Nah...“ Negan mumbled but knew he was right. **Why was this child as smart as his dad? It was sometimes annoying.**_

_With a trembling hand Negan only managed to write the words „I'm sorry, Rick“, but while writing his name, he just couldn't hold back the tears filling his eyes. **Dammit, I can't even write his name. How should I be able to live without him? Maybe I don't need to leave and just stay here? No...I decided for this. I can't disappoint him and I mustn't hurt this beautiful soul. I just can't. I have to go.**_

_But even if he knew his decision was certain, Negan didn't manage to write his own name anymore. Ricks name and his together on one paper he only wanted to see on a wedding invitation, not on a leaving note. He just was about to break his own heart, cause he thought this needed to happen. **He didn't deserve it any other way. He had to prove himself for this man.**_

_Negan sighed and put the pen back. As he stepped up to Carl, he rested one hand on Carls shoulder again. „If I had a son, I wish he would be like you, Carl. Thank you. Take care of your dad until I'm back, kiss your sister from me and tell her daddy will be back.“ Carl nodded and Negan walked to the door. „Oh and...“ then he turnt only his head to look over his shoulder. „I hope when I come back, you and Enid are official.“_

_He winked again and Carl grinned, even if he felt the tears coming back up again. But he knew if he would cry now, Negan would start too, cause his eyes looked pretty damn close to it._

_Negan grabbed his bag and opened the door to leave. Carl stepped up and closed the door as silent as possible._

  
  


* * *

  
  


  
  


While listening to Negans story, Rick nearly didn't breathe and had to shake his head to get back to reality. It just didn't make sense to him in the first place.

„What? Wait...what engagement ring are you talking about?“

Negan blinked and turnt his head slightly to the side. „The one in your cabinet. You remember? I forgot to wash my clothes again and after we...I wanted something to wear and asked you.“

Rick furrowed his brows and closed his eyes, the situation of them kissing and having sex in their bed in front of his inner eye right now. He had to shake these pictures away to concentrate. „Yeah...yeah I remember. But...I didn't get you an engagement ring...I... would have been fine with just being with you. I didn't want to ask to scare you away.“

Negan shook his head vehemently. „No...there was this box from the jewerly store we went to. And there was a ring inside.“

Rick blinked and suddenly it came back to him. „Now I know. Yeah, but...it is mine. It's my old one from Lori. I didn't have a box and wanted one to leave the ring at her grave. So as we found that store, I got one from there. You should have noticed from the size.“

„I...“ Negan was speechless and embarassed at the same time. _He should have noticed, right? But seems that just showed his fear of marriage very clearly again. He just went too fast on with his thoughts and doubts._ „Yeah...my mistake. It doesn't change my inner doubts I had that time anyways...“

„No it doesn't.“

Rick dared to look into Negans eyes, cause he wanted to find the ending to his story finally. But he was unreadable.

„So...you came back.“ Rick assessed.

„I did.“

Rick nodded and bit his lower lip. „To tell me what? How much you enjoyed being a free man again and how many women you fucked on beaches all over the world?“

Rick couldn't help his sarcastic tone, he didn't know how to protect his aching heart anymore, besides firing back. And he had every right to do so.

„Rick...“ Negan shook his head in denial and stepped up to Rick, who couldn't move anymore. He was like in shock rigid and he wasn't sure, if he wanted to hear anything more from this man who just left him and forged a plot with his son behind his back. No wonder Carl was that calm all the time.

Negan stopped in front of Rick and looked down at the smaller man, his curls already wet from the snow, which reminded Negan of all the times they showered and swam together. _And that one day where they kissed in the rain. Negan never forgot about that._

His hand lifted up to Ricks face and striped the curls out of his face. „I missed you so much. Even after one day I missed you so much, that I came here.“

„You were here?“ Rick asked and looked deeply into Negans eyes, allowing his hand touching his skin.

„I watched you from outside and saw you smiling. It made me able to leave again.“ Negan whispered and Rick grabbed his hand to pull it down.

„Stop it. You hurt me. You hurt me a lot.“

Rick looked up in Negans eyes and suddenly he failed in surpressing his tears any further. They rolled down Ricks cheeks and Negans heart ached instantly. _He caused that. The only thing he never wanted to do to him. He caused it._

„I know. I'm so sorry. Let me make it up to you.“

Rick scoffed and stepped back, but just an inch. „How could you possibly ever make that up to me, hm? I never know if you leave again and let me die another time.“

„I won't.“ Negan assured and took one of Ricks hands while his free one wiped away Ricks tears, who closed his eyes.

„How could I trust you again?“

„It's christmas Rick. _Make a wish_.“ Rick didn't dare to open his eyes again, since he knew how he always got weak when he faced that other man. He breathed in deeply and tried to stop crying, which he was able to do after the tension left his body with his breathing out.

_How many times did he wish for something what didn't come true? How many times in the last months did he wish to see Negan again and suffered under any possible situation he imagined in his head of what could have happened to him? How many times was he certain that he lost him? But it was true indeed, he learnt to be happy in the last year despite his horrible loss. And somehow he was proud of himself, that he managed to keep up a nice christmas and decorated house for his children. During all this time he always seemed to have hope for Negan to come back. And here he was. Maybe it was a christmas present indeed. And there was something he wished for._

„Okay.“ Rick answered and opened his eyes to face Negan again and wondered why he didn't see him right away. Another lightning went through his veines, as he looked down and found Negan on his knee. „No, Negan...you can't...“

Negan interrupted him and shhed him down. „Rick, listen.“

„No, I...“ Rick stepped up and went down on his knees as well to be face to face with Negan, but he just looked at him fiercly. Ricks hands found Negans shirt and hold onto him. „Please, just come inside. I can't...“

Negan shook his head and took both of Ricks hands to kiss the back of them. „No, you have to stand up now. Otherwise I won't move one inch from here.“

„Negan, please. It's cold and snowing and we should...“

„Rick!“ Negan let go of his hands and sighed. „The longer you discuss with me, the longer it takes. And I stay here all night until I freeze, I don't care. I just need you to stand up now and listen.“

„I...“

At the same moment Carl opened the front door silently and stood there with Judith holding his hand, what Negan noticed. „Please...your kids are watching this, it's getting embarrassing.“

Rick looked over his shoulder where Carl just nodded at him and finally he could find the strength to stand up and look down at Negan, still kneeling in front of him. _This was absurd._

Negan took one of Ricks shaking hands and breathed in deeply, before he started to talk again. „I know in your eyes I did a big mistake in leaving last year. But for me it was the most eye opening thing I ever did for myself and everything I saw and experienced brought me right to this moment. I never left to leave you, I left to be able to come back as something you deserve. And whenever I saw the sun setting or rising, no matter where I was or who I was with, I always thought „I wish Rick could see that“. Whenever someone approached me, no matter if I was drunk or sober, I always started every sentence with „I have a family at home“. People were annoyed by my talking about you. They didn't even remember my name, they just called me „the one who talks about this Rick“. I admire you in so many things and no one ever welcomed me with open arms and gave me a family at the same time. I know how strong you are and all I wanted was to be the same. I think I am now.“

Rick wanted to say something, but somehow he just swallowed and tried to focus on breathing.

Negans free hand slid into his pocket and got a small box out of it. He opened it with one hand and tightened the grip around Ricks hand even more, like not wanting to let go. „I can promise you to never leave again, because I want to ask you, Rick Grimes, do you want to marry me?“

Carls grin was surely even wider than his dads, cause Rick was more shocked than anything. After all the anger he had in his heart for this man over the year, from the despair of missing him and being worried to death and now to this day where everything went up and down like in a rollercoaster, Rick nearly felt sick. It was just too much to process. He stared at the silver ring Negan presented him and tried to focus his mind. _But was this really something he needed to think about?_

„Rick? What...you don't like it? I even travelled to London, cause I knew you always dreamed about a ring from there and I thought you...“

„ _Yes_.“

Negan blinked and heard an excited „Yes!“ from Carl, who put Judith on his arms in celebration.

„Yes? You...sure?“ Negan asked in surprise and Rick chuckled with another tear running down his cheek.

„Yes, you idiot.“

Negan smiled and striped the ring over Ricks hand which fit perfectly. Rick leaned over to kiss Negans lips, grabbed his face and stood up slowly while continuing to kiss him back passionately. _He missed to kiss him such a long time._

Carl and Judith went up to them and smiled and as Rick released his lips, resting his forehead against Negans to ask „So...seems you found no one better than me?“

Negan shook his head and rested his palm on his cheek. „There is and will never be someone better than you.“

„So you didn't...“

„No.“ Negan interrupted him and kissed Ricks lips again and muttered against them „I never want to kiss someone else in my entire life. Surprising how you suddenly can think about something in an exciting way, even if you do it since 4 years.“

Rick smiled and rested his hands on Negans face as well, before Carl coughed to interrupt them. „Can we say congrats now?“

Negan and Rick released their kiss again and smiled. Rick took Judith on his arms and Carl hugged Negan tightly.

„Congrats.“ Carl said.

„Thanks buddy.“ Negan replied and as they pulled back, Carl raised an eyebrow.

„So London, hm? Didn't know that.“

„Yeah, your father mentioned it a few times.“ Negans eyes met Ricks and he lifted his hand, to let Judith take a look of the ring.

„Yeah, I'm impressed you kept that in your memory.“ Rick mentioned.

„Of course I did. I got it from a street artist near Camden town. Every piece is handmade and unique and that's what I needed for you.“

Rick grinned and kissed Negan shortly again, before Judith interrupted it with kissing Negans cheek. „Daddy home! Congrats daddies!“

All laughed about her cheering and Rick looked back at Carl. „Pretty impressive how you kept that secret all the time. I think we do have to catch up a little. Otherwise you will exchange your daddy one day.“

Carl laughed and shook his head. „No, dad. But yeah, I'm fine with you marrying him, thanks for asking. Let's go inside, otherwise Judith will catch a cold.“

„True that.“ Rick agreed and looked over to Negan. „You have any baggage?“

Negan stepped back to Ricks car, where he left his bag next to. „Just this. Let's go.“

Rick nodded and walked back to their front door, Negan following next to him.

„I wondered...you didn't even take your phone with you. Why not?“ Rick asked.

„The only one I would have called would have been you or Carl and I couldn't risk that. There's no one else I would need it for. So I left it. I have no interest in contacting anybody but you.“

Rick grinned. „Wow, all romantic. Still you could have written more, you know?“

„No Rick, I _couldn't_.“

Rick let Judith walk back to the living room and closed the door behind them, before he turnt to Negan and took his hands. „You should have kept the key.“

„No.“ Negan rested his forehead against Ricks and closed his eyes. „I knew when I come back, I would need a new one anyways.“

Rick wondered about that. „Why? Thought I would exchange the lock?“

Negan laughed and opened his eyes to stare in that baby blue again. „No. Because I need to change my initials.“

Rick couldn't help it, but press his lips against Negans and Carl suddenly called out „I will bring Judith back to bed. See you tomorrow morning. And don't stay up too long, otherwise you will chase Santa away!“

„We won't!“ Negan and Rick answered as one, while Carl brought Judith back up and went to sleep next to her.

Rick blushed and whispered „I originally had a pre santa gift for you.“

„Oh? But I have my merry Rickmas already!“

„It was nearly as good!“ Rick tilted his head and led Negan to the living room, while holding onto his hand.

He stopped in front of the table and Negans eyes went down to the table, where the whisky glasses rested. „Oh my god, so you did think of me.“

„Of course.“

Negan looked over to the wall and spotted something wet on the floor. „Seems you got a little angry here.“

„Yeah... I'm sorry I ruined your present.“

They stood in front of the window where it was still snowing behind and Negan shook his head slowly, before he placed both of his hands on Ricks face again. „You are more than enough. I love you.“

„I love you too.“

They kissed and Negan mumbled against Ricks lips „I heard, I have to make up a few nights.“

„Yeah, indeed you do.“

„Okay, let's start today.“ Negan deepened their kiss and they both found each other on the couch again.

It was the first time they fell asleep naked on the couch. Before they always were considerate of Carl and Judith to not be found naked in the living room, but this time they didn't care. And since they didn't have whisky to fall asleep to, it was their scents and liquids which dozed them like a strong sleeping pill. And they didn't even miss the whisky for one second, as long as they had each other.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> While writing I was not sure if I want to insert some of the lyric lines from time to time when the part changes or if I insert the lyrics at the end. I decided for the second, cause it would maybe disturb your reading.  
> Still I will insert them here, so you can maybe see where it inspired me.  
> The next christmas oneshot will be over "Driving home for christmas" and I hope I can post it next weekend.  
> Have a great week everyone and a nice 3rd Advent <3
> 
> Nevertheless here are the complete lyrics:
> 
> Last year same time in December,  
> I had your love and I remember,  
> your gentle kiss and your gentle touch,  
> but now I seem to miss you much.  
> Last year, same time in December,  
> the nights had not been so cold.  
> You were holding me and I was (I was) holding you,  
> you made me feel the way I did and I miss you.  
> Ohoho oh oho ohoh yeah, and I miss you.
> 
> It's December and I'll be missing you.  
> Christmas time, come and make my dreams come true.  
> I remember all the happy times with you,  
> make my wish, and hope this year my gift is you.  
> It's December and I'll be missing you,  
> Christmas time, come and make my dreams come true.  
> I remember all the happy times with you,  
> make my wish, and this year I will be with you, I'll be with you.
> 
> Ohoho oh oho ohoh yeah, and I miss you.  
> Now I'm sitting here, waiting my dear,  
> watching the snow falling down like last year.  
> And last year rolls down from my eye,  
> I got to make a wish for you baby:  
> I wish that I could be your shining star,  
> flying high in the sky so I can see where you are,  
> spending light in the night, bright as could be,  
> this time for you, shine for you, help you, bring you back to me.  
> Ohoho oh oho ohoh yeah, bring you back to me


End file.
